That Time I Followed a Guy to London...
I once took a break from college at Arizona State to follow a guy to London.
This wasn’t just any guy, it was my high school boyfriend, and the guy who taught me everything I knew about music. Eric bought me my first guitar and taught me my first two chords… which would eventually lead me to write and record three albums to date.
We were ridic and in hindsight hilarious. So dramatic and doing our best to be our own version a Bukowski novel and a Woody Allen film. I think we made it all of a few weeks with lots of drinking, arguing, reciting poetry, crying, breaking up and getting back together again. You get the idea.
We finally broke it off and I got a job at a local pub, where I worked under the table with a bunch of other foreigners needing to make some money. I was the only American. There was Doretta the tall, gorgeous redhead model from Denmark who had a surprisingly unsettling smell to her. And Helena from Brussels who could command a room with her deep voice and “no bullshit” attitude.
On one hand, I gotta give myself credit for being so brave and free-spirited to head across the pond so young.
However, what became a habit for me starting then and for years to come is that I would look to boyfriends to define me. I would jump on their train for excitement and adventure, thinking I needed them as the platform to launch myself into a new chapter or creative endeavor. Looking to them to teach me who and what was cool, how to speak, what kind of music to listen to, what style to rock. I trusted them and gave them permission to design my identity.
What I would tell her now?
Let them teach and show you new things, but value and hold onto what you offer as well because you DO bring tremendous value. This life is YOUR journey to explore and design through your own trial and error. I know it can feel lonely going your own way, but eventually, it will be the only way.
Your intuition is your best friend. Align with it, follow it, trust it.
Make getting to know and trusting yourself your top priority.
In the end, you’re all you have.