That Time I Moved to Hawaii...
Once upon a time, I moved to Hawaii to live in tents on the beach with some high school friends. It was the early 2000s. There was a movement fronted by the homeless hippies and gutter punks camping at Venice Beach in Los Angeles who were making this move after being told they would have to take it elsewhere, lest they are heavily fined and eventually arrested. Word was that the beaches of Maui were not enforcing these types of laws just yet. I decided to jump on that train after being let in on the secret of this magical place where you could pick fruit off of the trees and live on beautiful beaches.
I was 21 and I had no idea who I was. I just wanted to be free and as far away from my roots as possible.
So much of that journey was amazing.
I ran around naked on beaches ALL DAY. I took acid and believed I could make it rain (which, I like totally did). I recorded music in old, abandoned churches in deserts overlooking the water. It was all a big trip.
There were some things I suppose you could only know with age and wisdom… and a sense of self and confidence that I was actually lacking quite a bit.
Like, my badass girlfriends were casually sleeping with dudes and often, so I figured, that’s what you do when you’re a liberated woman. But these guys I was hooking up with were less than impressive. What I really craved was connection, but thought this was the thing, so I followed suit.
I also probably didn’t need to be smoking pot from sun up to down and spending most of my time escaping reality rather than being present for all the magic and beauty that surrounded me.
So while I praise my brave younger self for flying across the country to live like a nomad and raise hell, here’s what I would tell her now:
“Hell yea sis, go live on the beach and dance in all your freedom. I get it. You want to be let out of your cage, as you should. DO IT!
BUT, you definitely don’t feel like being liberated means you have to sleep with just ANYBODY. Or lose yourself in all things outside of yourself, be it dudes, drugs, drinking, sex.
Why not go to the beach first thing in the mornings? Journal and meditate instead? Connect to the Divine Goddess that is all around you, because baby, that IS you. Lead with what feels right...even if there’s no one behind you. The greatest gift you could give the world is to honor your unique, magical, powerhouse self.”